Self Care (To Go)

Multitasking should be a synonym for motherhood.

We do everything in multitudes: washing dishes while cooking, taking calls while changing diapers, exercising while reading. And while there is a time and place for doing just one task with all our focus, such as conversations or meals, those luxurious moments are few and far between some days. How do we support our mental, physical, and emotional needs in the in-between? How do we maintain a sense of well-being and calm while on the go?

Enter: Self Care (To Go), minor adjustments to the ways we live to improve our wellness little by little. It all adds up!

Massage your Brain with Mental Self Care:

• Bring a book

  My security blanket is whatever I’m reading. This week it’s Alison Weir’s Katherine of Aragon: The True Queen, a narrative biography of (surprise) Katherine of Aragon. Why do I tote around a book to the grocery store, to the pharmacy, and even to work? I enjoy reading, sure. I find my mental health appreciates when I spend lag time (on hold, in line, whatever) reading a page or two instead of scrolling on my phone. I also find that mentally checking out of this reality and into another can be a welcome break, even if it’s just for a few minutes. The benefits of reading are countless, but you get exactly zero of them unless you do, in fact, pick up a book and read.

• The "Realm of Control"

  This is more of a thought exercise, but as a type-A person, I find it helpful to distinguish what is versus what is not within my control. If it’s not in my realm of control, it’s not worth more energy than strictly necessary. Someone in front of me at the DMV has forgotten the necessary documents to get their REAL ID, holding up the line? Not in my realm of control. I’ll pull out my book. Getting frustrated costs me energy and gets me nothing in return.

• Use an organizer

  I want to be an on-paper, physical planner kind of person. But, that just doesn’t mesh with how many calendars I manage. I caved and subscribed to UseMotion, which is a calendar and task management app on steroids. It totes its use of AI, but really it’s just a good tool for tracking all your ongoing projects at once and syncing them with your availability. Home maintenance, preschool calendars, work events, and travel all live in one place on our calendars, so shouldn’t gathering quotes, reminders to bake cupcakes, happy hour conversation prompts, and ticket itineraries also be in that place?
  

Protect your Body with Physical Self Care:

• Pack plants

  I’m not very creative when it comes to brown bagging my lunches. I pack leftovers and plants. By plants, I mean that I grab a piece or two of fruit, chop up some raw veggies, and call it a day. Just that addition of some fresh produce makes a huge difference in our baseline micronutrient levels. It takes almost no effort and the payoff for eating more vitamins, minerals, and fiber is enormous. How many colors can you eat in a day? More is better, so snack happy and pack some plants.

• Drink Your Water

  Keys, wallet, phone, book, water. That’s all you need when you leave the house. Headache? Drink some water. Stomach ache? Did you have any water today? Dizzy? Sip some water. Nauseated? Steep some ginger tea (a.k.a. basically water). Water is the magical, overlooked key to protecting your body and helping nearly every system within you run smoothly. I need a water bottle or I won’t drink my water (I know, high maintenance, but I prefer to think of it as knowing my weaknesses). What needs to be true in order for you to hydrate properly?

• Functional footwear

  I love a good high heel. I also will gleefully pull my trainers from my gym bag if I know I’m going to be walking more than fifty feet because... I love my feet, my back, and my posture more than I love my pumps. Hobbling across gravel in stilettos isn’t a good look on anyone, but sitting in heels is both comfortable and graceful. Almost no other activity in heels checks both of those boxes, so save the heels for the office and special occasions.

Energize your Spirit with Emotional Self Care:

• The deep breathing reset

  I taught this to my daughter because 1. I use it myself, and 2. it’s a modification of the breathing exercise my own mother taught me. We call it, “Smelling the flowers and blowing the bubbles.” Inhale through your nose at the speed at which you would inhale to smell a flower, hold it for a moment, and then exhale through your mouth with the same pressure needed to blow bubbles from a bubble wand. Repeat as necessary, particularly when feeling overwhelmed.

• Have unplugged spaces

  Your phone doesn’t belong in most places. Neither to televisions, iPads, or any of the other dozens of screens we see daily. I limit my computer/laptop/tablet use to two spaces: my office and my home office. I don’t take my work outside of these spaces with the exception of travel. Your phone doesn’t belong in your bedroom, your bathroom (ew), and certainly not at the dining table. It’s okay for your mind to wander; that’s how you process thoughts and feelings. Let your brain breathe. I am also of the opinion that our brains have not evolved to be able to gracefully hear, process, and hold all of the negative news of an entire planet. It’s overwhelming… because we are overwhelmed. I have given myself permission to not read news on my phone. I get my news from a county-wide newspaper that comes once a week, and I have specific podcasts I listen to so I am aware of the news cycle as it pertains to my work. That’s it. I’m not burying my head in the sand, but I’m not scrolling through hundreds of photos and eye-catching headlines a day. It’s just too much for my one brain, and even more so for my one heart.

• Sing in the car

  Singing has a calming effect. It reassures our nervous system through the vagus nerve and regulates our breathing, lowering our heart rate and even our blood pressure. Here’s your permission to put together a car playlist of songs, turn up the volume, and sing your heart out. If you’re going to be stuck in traffic then you might as well have fun and lower your blood pressure in the process. Personally, I love showtunes in the car. I can sing the entire Hamilton soundtrack and by the time it concludes, I’m at the beach!

Take care of yourself. You are worth it.

With love, E